Home Tiki Lounge Hi-Fi Book Shelf Femme Fatales Martini Hide-Away Essays Forum/Groups Radio Store Links

"Astrology Is Your Best Friend" 


by Grace Cowell


Sir Knight

Vol. 3 No. 7, February 1962

    WOLVES WHO GO OUT on the prowl armed only with a few bucks, charm and good clothes could have another important weapon--astrology. What has that to do with it? Plenty!
    The stars propel, they don't compel, but in propelling they pretty much dictate what sex quotient a girl has and what type she's attracted to. Knowing the astrological signs, is half the battle. According to Astrological theory, study of the following romance charts will in crease your chances of success:

    IF YOUR DATE is an ARIES girl, (born between March 21 and April 19), the way to handle her is to throw everything you've got into one big night and hope for the best. She's the impulsive type. She'll either go or not, all of a sudden. Don't waste your time date after date. If she wants what you've got to offer she won't be shy or reluctant--she'll grab. But the second time, she'll have to be won all over again. Sad, but true, with Miss Aries, every date is the beginning. She'll sling the term "love" around easily but it won't have much meaning to her. Between sheets, she'll want her own way. You won't be calling the turn. And the next morning, no matter what's happened, she's apt to look at you blankly--ARIES dolls have short memories! She goes for the "mental" man rather than the physical. Don't talk of your football victories; tell her how you broke down Einstein's Fourth Dimension. She's attracted to LEO men and SAGGITARIUS men. They'll last longer with her. But she likes GEMINI. However, she wants his company not his physique.

    THE YOUNG CHICK born under TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) hasn't the ardor or impulsiveness of her ARIES sister where sex is concerned. She's more deliberate and discriminating. She likes forceful, aggressive men who don't waste time with candy and flowers but instead put their bare foot on milady's heaving breast and give the Tarzan yell. This lady wants her man to be demonstrative--nothing subtle please. She doesn't understand subtlety. You tell her what to do--you don't ask her. She never has time for romance. She's the most feminine of all signs in her need to please a man. She's an earth sign and therefore is attracted to the other earth Sign, SCORPIO. The subtle SCORPIO will perhaps come closest to her ideal of a lover while the independent SAGITTARIUS will captivate her imagination. With this chick, if you strut around in all your masculinity she'll fall prone at your feet. She'll also dig AQUARIANS with their impersonal, sort of snobbish views on love.

    THE GEMINI MISS (born between May 21 and June 21) is a natural flirt and may be engaged in more than one romance at the same time. She's the type who while in the hay with you, is day-dreaming about some other love. NEVER TRUST HER IN MATTERS OF LOVE. She's ruled by the changeable MERCURY which makes her restless. You'll never be able to please her for long. Don't break your back trying. She's the kind who opens the book itemizing the 400 positions and says rather bored: "Is that all?" This broad is a schemer and you have to sprinkle your romance with intrigue even if it doesn't exist. If she thinks you're going from her bed to someone else's you can be guaranteed of much attention and cooperation. Her dual personality goes for the affable LIBRA (Oct. 23 to Nov. 21). She also leans to the unpredictable AQUARIAN (Jan. 21 to Feb. 19). But remember she's a schemer.

    THE SWEET YOUNG THING born under the retrospective MOON sign (June 22 to July 21) is a sentimental slob. But once she gets a man never lets him go--take heed. She's wonderful horizontal but clinging when she's vertical. This is the kind of sweetie who once she hooks you, smothers you. She'll do anything--become very domestic or even go out and earn the daily bread, anything to warrant your constant attention. She'll cry often, whether in bed with sheer happiness or over some imagined slight. She is attracted by the male born under the TAURUS sign impressed by his steadfastness. But it's the SCORPIO lads she can't resist after a fun evening. The MOON child loves love and when she gets it wants it at top intensity forever. Now how many brave lads can fill that order? Not many. And that's why you must look ahead with a MOON child. Too many thrills can wash you down the sink.

    AHHHH! THE SUNNY, pleasure-loving young lady of LEO (July 22 to August 23), the royal sign of the zodiac responds to love as the plant responds to the sun. She's a happy lass who is willing to have love just for love. Forget those minks and diamonds. She is not interested. She only cares whether she loves you, from then on it's bliss. She has great magnetism and warmth and is an idealist. If you're the kind, you can feed her any tall tales because she'll believe anything. Then when she finds out you were fibbing, she'll run. It is no great feat to get the LEO girl into the bedroom. The feat is to be on the level with her so that you can make frequent return trips. She's faithful and sincere herself and you can believe her every word. Ahhhh! her child-like trust is delicate like Oriental china. Don't mishandle it. Love her gently and honestly. She likes the independent AQUARIAN more than the men of all other signs. And he's a perfect compliment for her.

    THE VIRGO (August 24 to Sept. 22) girl is aloof and apt to be shy in an affair. She'll have many restrictions, some of which will bug you. She'll be defensive and find it difficult to express her innermost feelings. She is never demonstrative. You will be doing all the aggression. She'll never make a romantic gesture until you lead the way. If you're the modest, shy man, you'll never make it with her. Another problem for her male dates is that she is ruled by the intellectual MERCURY and lets reason dominate her emotional nature. You're in trouble with a VIRGO chick because no kiss, touch or word will arouse her. She must put it all down on paper (a simile, of course) and then figure out if this is the fellow she wants to be bedded down with. It can get to be a pain in the posterior. This girl often has feelings that run deep but outwardly she'll be cold as a wind in December. So you see if you're easily dissuaded you'll leave her at the door with that frustrated feeling when you could have had a wonderful warm night in her arms. SCORPIO men will stimulate her and they are first in line for her affections.

    THE CHARMER BORN under the signs of LIBRA (Sept. 23 to Oct. 22) is the artist in matters of love. With her feminine allure she'll wind the man of her choice around her little finger. She's sweet and lovable, under stands and studies love, and is sure of her romantic appeal. This is a pro who makes few mistakes. But she'll enjoy making a fool of you even if she loves you and wants you. She's ruled by VENUS, the goddess of love and beauty, and most important in her affairs she must be appealed to through her aesthetic sense. She wants love served on a golden platter, delicately with aplomb. She needs the stimulation of a man as much as you need her so you have a good start. She works angles in her love-making so watch the curves as you move around them. Her favorite is the extroverted SAGGITARIAN.

    THE SCORPIO gal (Oct. 23 to Nov. 21) has a certain subtle charm which increases her magnetic fascination for the opposite sex. She's the bitter-sweet type who you think is just the girl next door. Then you kiss her and wow! She turns into a tiger. She's the blind date who you feel early in the evening is a nice kid so you'll spend your dough and be a sport about it. But as the evening progresses you think to yourself, "Well maybe she wouldn't be so bad in the hay." And by the time you get her back home, your tongue is dragging--"Baby, please let me in. It's cold outside." But she's a jealous one and if you make any headway with her be sure to cover up any other affairs. She can be a dangerous mate who won't stand for any extra-curricular fooling around. Buddy, when you make a pass at her, think hard because she's going to demand your faithfulness. And are you ready to settle down? She's possessive and her resentments are deep when she's thwarted. She'll like the dignified CAPRICORN who she feels can handle her stormy emotions.

    THE LITTLE MISS born under the sign of SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 to Dec. 21) is the girl with the direct approach. The minute you meet her you'll know whether you have it for her or not. Don't, and I repeat, don't press on if she's cold for the first few minutes. It's a lost cause. She's impulsive but knows her own mind. She judges fast and sticks by her first decisions. She's governed by the beneficent JUPITER and is broad- minded. She doesn't care about convention. It is possible to meet her at eight o'clock and at nine, ask her to quit pulling the covers over on her side. That's if she likes you. And who does she love the easiest? Well, the ARIES man with his energy and enthusiasm and LEO man with his magnetism will do best.

    THAT EFFICIENT CAPRICORNgirl (Dec. 22 to Jan. 20) is practical and conventional. She's got her feet on the ground. Even if she's nuts about you, she'll be careful about showing it until after the fifth date. She takes no chances. "Dearest," she'll say, "I love you very much. But we need time to see if it will stick." You'll beg and cajole, pout and get mad and it will do no good at all. She's a tough nut to crack. She's ruled by the stern SATURN. Her emotions are always under control and there isn't a man alive who can break down that tough outer-covering. Unless you are absolutely mad about this one, give it the by-pass. It can be a frustrating experience. Oh, maybe there's one exception. If you're a football champ and the trainer told you to stay away from sex for a month so you can rest your wrenched back, she's a great companion. And who knows what can happen after the month. She is attracted to the mysterious PISCEAN.

    THE AQUARIUS chick (Jan. 21 to Feb. 19) is strictly for you mental fellows with glasses and pencils in your coat pocket. She adores the intellectual type. If you can get her into a spirited conversation about philosophy, physics and the space age, you have a good chance. She likes sex and romance but she likes it along with intellectual pursuits. She's the perfect foil for etchings especially if they are rare and prized. if said etchings are on the wall at the foot of your bed, she'll show no resistance to lying on her tummy so she can properly study them at length. From then on, brother, you got a chance if you keep talking art while unbuttoning the buttons. A false move though, and all the paintings in Rome won't bring back the mood. She'll just love the sensitive MOON sign.

    THE SENSITIVE and mysterious lady of PISCES (Feb. 20 to March 20) is a rare prize for the connoisseur. She's very emotional, loses herself in passion, moans, whispers, begs, scratches (but gently) and loves you entirely. She's always intriguing to the male. She's ruled by the planet NEPTUNE so she is difficult to know but once you know and love her, your life is one of uninterrupted bliss. Be careful because her feelings are easily hurt and you wouldn't want to hurt this dear sweet thing now, would you? Here is a girl worth of all your masculine tricks. She's also worthy of time and money because the goal is a beautiful one. Miss PISCES has an intangible glamour and when you start telling your buddies about her and raving about her various prowess, you'll find an in ability to describe her. But when you're alone with her the moments need no words. The dynamic SCORPIO can sweep this delectable lass off her feet forever.

More Essays>>>

Home | Tiki Lounge | Hi-Fi | Book Shelf | Femme Fatales | Martini Hide-Away | Essays | Forum/Groups | Radio | Store | Links | E-mail 
Copyright 2006, Swinging Bachelor Productions.