It Works Like Magic, But There's A Trick To It:
by Ronnie Lake
Vol. 1, No. 11, August, 1956
Some prizefighters have been highly successful, a few even reaching the
top of their weight divisions, through the successful employment of the
counter-punch. This technique involves forcing an opponent to lead, and
then taking advantage of any opening that develops before he can recover
his balance and get his guard up.
The same tactics work with women,
too. For the purposes of this discussion, we can call this strategy the
Just about everything that can
be said has been said about the direct approach, which ranges
from the standard saloon gambit, "Bartender, give that little lady a drink
on me," to the really direct form of approach employed by
an acquaintance of mine, who boldly puts the question to a lady within
five minutes after meeting her for the first time.
"Don't you get slapped a lot
that way, Charlie?" I asked him once.
"Yeah," he admitted. "But I
a lot, too."
The counter-pass is for the
more philosophical and less hurried wolf, and a rudimentary knowledge of
psychology is a big help.
We must accept the fact that
our society is founded upon the hypocritical assumption that a pretty girl
who goes to a party wearing a gown with décolletage
down to here and is doused to the armpits with perfume hasn't a thought
of sex in her curly little head, but is looking for male companionship
on an honorable, meaning platonic, basis.
Lay a finger on her sweetly
exposed shoulder, and she's apt to holler sex fiend.
But don't blame the doll. That
attitude is just what society expects of her and, if she yielded to her
impulses and purred like a kitten under a toying and caressing hand, all
the other babes present would consider her a hussy.
The counter-pass technique avoids
embarrassments such as this. And anyone, as long as he's reasonably attractive
and eligible (meaning he's hasn't already got a Number One Wife and a mistress
or two) can use it to his advantage. The only character requisite is patience.
Although society demands of
a girl, no matter how healthy, that she put up at least a token resistance
to the direct approach, it is inversely true that if there is no approach
there is necessarily no resistance. And that's the key to the whole strategy.
The counter-passer is the sly
guy who goes to a party and makes no advances toward the lovely little
chit upon whom he has set his sights. Or toward any other girl, either.
He talks about jazz music, his favorite brands of whiskey, joins in the
scrabble game and spends considerable time in the kitchen. He is witty
and charming and makes a good impression on everyone.
But he doesn't even mention
sex, or romance, or tell the lovely little chit she looks gorgeous in that
off-the-shoulder gown with the stiff-slips underneath. If she smells good,
you'd never know it from him. He's polite, but distant.
He plays it the coolest.
Here's where an understanding
of basic psychology comes in. It is an established fact that, despite the
polite resistance demanded of women by society, no woman can tolerate the
thought that she will not be called upon to resist. This has to do with
fundamental ego. All women must feel that they are physically desirable
to men, even if they have no immediate intention of gratifying the male
desire. And when a man fails to respond to her allure, she is intrigues.
Either she hasn't got it, a premise which she will go to some length to
disprove, or he doesn't want it, which means that he is either (a) queer
or (b) a man of such high standards that she feels called upon to test
The truly adept counter-passer
is a man capable of biding his time. He manages to be around the girl he
desires under the most favorable conditions, but his maneuvers are so subtle
that she has no idea he is maneuvering. She is piqued and perturbed. She's
got to find out why her charms have failed to cast their customary spell.
She feels rejected.
These pressures build, with
the help of the skillful counter-passer, until, finally, she is forced
into making a move.
The first moves are feints,
and the counter-passer understands this. He knows that her approach in
these early stages is tentative and inspired more by curiosity than desire.
So he falls into no traps. He doesn't respond. And the pressure keeps building.
Provided there is a mutual attraction
to begin with, the time will inevitably come when she can stand this state
of affairs no longer. Everything's involved--her pride, her curiosity,
her natural sex-drive. She's got to do something, and she does. What she
does depends on the girl. She may invite the counter-passer to a cozy,
candlelit dinner for two at her apartment, or suggest a picnic in the country.
But--you can believe it--she'll do something.
And the counter-passer is off
third and headed for home.
Given the requisites of privacy
and proximity, the girl, driven by ego, curiosity and biology, will (and
this is guaranteed) make an overt move, provided the counter-passer is
clever enough to bring about the psychological moment. And she's hardly
in any position to voice indignation or protest too vehemently when he
comes out of his shell and throws his counter-pass. Like the fighter who
leads, she's swung and missed and she's off-balance and her guard's down.
There's really nothing for her to do but relax and enjoy it and hope for
In this racket, however, there's
no referee and a ten-count is much too short.
From that point on, things go
along just as they would have gone had a successful direct approach been
Except for one little thing.
Any girl taken by the successful
application of the direct approach is in a position to make a man feel
obligated. After all, he asked for it and got it.
But the girl who falls to the
counter-passer is done. She buttered her own bread and must lie in it.
When the affair is over, the man, is, ethically, free as the breeze.
Weighing the advantages of the
counter-pass against the disadvantages (it takes time, sometimes), it is
easily seen that, for an experienced Escapader, the end is
not only justified, but made happily certain, by the means.