Goof Or Not To Goof"
by Dick Clark
Fawcett Crest Book, 1963
The world's oldest living
teenager is here for you kids. He knows you have problems with not fitting
in, making the first move, looking keen for the big dance, and feeling
like a overall square. Dick is here, and Dick will make everything swell
again. He spells it all out for you with chapters like "The Road to Coolsville,"
"Don't Be A Dip with Your Dreamboat," and "Square Situations." This
book is composed of questions that teens and their parents have written
to Dick, and the happening answers he gives. Here's the back cover blurb:
"How to have morals and manners and still have fun. Some of the vital questions
asked and answered in this candid, entertaining guide to successful teen-againg:
--What are the ten commandments of automobile driving? --Where do your
elbows go when you're not eating? --How long should it take to say good
night to a girl? To her father? --Do nice girls call up boys? --Do boys
call up nice girls? --How far is friendly? --Can you be fair and still
be a parent? --Can you use the phone without starting a war? --Can you
tell the difference between a compromise and a proposition?" Yes, after
this, you too will be the boast of the burger joint and every boy or girl
will want to dance with you and take you to lover's lane. Thanks, Dick!
We could have never done it without you. (See also Dick
Clark's Easygoing Guide to Good Grooming.)
Here are some actual
question from the book:
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This is my problem. I'm going with a girl who is considered a real
dud. I have more fun with her than any girl I've ever dated. But everyone
thinks things about us, and rumors are starting. They're not true--even
our kisses are few, short, and far between. Should I ignore the rumors
or flatly deny them? I don't want her reputation or mine ruined.
I go out pretty regularly with a girl that I like very much. She is
lots of fun to talk to and to be with in a crowd, but we have a fight every
time we go to a dance. The trouble is that neither one of us can dance
very well. She says I'm clumsy and I say she isn't following, but whatever
happens we can't seem to get on the dance floor without stepping all over
each other. How come other kids manage this so smoothly? It looks so easy
for them. We just can't seem to figure out a routine that works. I'm ashamed
to ask, but is there some kind of system that we could follow?
I've been sneaking out with boys for quite a while. I don't like to
cheat my parents, but they want me to be in at nine o'clock every night.
If I did that, I wouldn't have any friends. I'm thirteen years old, going
on fourteen, and I want to belong to the crowd. How can I get my parents
to be a little easier with me?
A couple of weeks ago our crowd (about ten girls and twelve boys) were
hauled to the police station for questioning about hub-cap stealing. It
seems whenever anything goes wrong the cops are clawing at us. This has
really got us bugged, because now our parents watch us wherever we go.
And whereever we gom nobody wants us, because they say we will make trouble.
What are we suppose to do, crawl into the woodwork or something after school?
We're people, too, and we want a place to breathe and hack around and have