49 ways a girl can make movies---rolled
up in a single lesson
"Why, Mr. Rogers!"
by James E. Kenner
from
Adam
1957 Annual
WHY,
MR. ROGERS!...it was so good of you to
come over tonight! Here--sit down. Can I bring you a drink? Oh...you don't?
Well, isn't that a funny coincidence! Neither do I...not really, that is.
Oh, maybe just a teeny bit, just to be sociable....you
know! After
all, an actress has to look out for herself.
Trust you? Why, of course,
I trust you! I feel perfectly safe. I'll tell you what...let's
the two of us have a drink after all--just a small drop, of course. Good!
Now, there--isn't that
better? Oh, you are sweet to say that. Do you really think
so? A woodland nymph...my, it sounds perfectly exciting! You have such
a clever way with words. I'll bet the other producers are jealous when
they see your pictures.
Oh, yes, I know you
don't write them. But with all your experience and every thing, I'll
bet writers are calling you up all the time and asking for help.
Oh, no, I mean it.
It's something you've got that gives a picture quality.
You've finished your
drink! Well...another? I won't tell a soul that you've had two. It'll be
our secret...of course, I'll have one with you, I
wouldn't dream of being unsociable.
...Here you are. Now,
you just lean back and forget all about making movies, and feel perfectly
at home. I wouldn't dream of boring you with shop-talk. Why, with
this new movie coming up so soon, I think you're entitled to a little relaxation...Oh,
is it really? A top secret? Well, in that case I won't say a word--not
even a whisper. You can depend on me. Let's shake on it...
My goodness, your hands
are cold Here, give me the other one. I'll warm them for you.
Why, Mr. Rogers! That's
just the way the Duke in your last picture kissed the hand of the
Princess. It gives me goosebumps all over! The other one, too?...Oh, Mr.
Rogers, you're so cavalier!
Me,
a Princess?
You're a dear...
Well, now that you mention
it, I am a little uncomfortable. It's the way I'm sitting. Here!
I'll move over some--like this. Uhmmm, that's better!
...Why, of course,
you can put your arm around me! I don't want you to be uncomfortable.
Besides, we're partners now.
...Isn't it funny. We've
only known each other such a short while, and yet I feel as though we're
old friends. I'll tell you something else, if you promise not to laugh.
Promise? All right...
A few weeks ago, I read
in the newspapers that you celebrated your birthday in March. That's Pisces,
you know. Well, anyhow it just so happens I'm a Pisces too.
Isn't it perfectly exciting! And you know what? It says in this month's
issue of the astrology book that it's a perfect time for two Pisces
to form a partnership.
Isn't that something?
I wonder if it isn't all written down somewhere, in the
Book of Fate.
I mean, here we are, and...
Why, Mr. Rogers! You
kissed me! Oh, no--it's not that I disapprove! I told you I trust
you perfectly. It's just that a--a girl does have to look out for
herself.
Oh, you silly darling!
Sealing the partnership! You are adorable.
You know something?
You're not at all like a big movie producer. Why, I can picture you as
a star--sort of the good-looking hero type. Honest!
Oh, uhmmm...don't!
That tickles. Mr. Rogers! Please! Uhmmmmm!
...No, of course
I'm not afraid. It's just that--well, after all, we've only known each
other such a short time. And I wouldn't want you to think that I'm the
kind of--
...Ohhh!
That
gives me the goosebumps! Maybe I'd better sit up like this and...
Why, Mr. Rogers!
We shouldn't be like this. I know it's perfectly innocent, but,
after all, what would other people think?
Well, no. There isn't
anyone else coming over tonight. But,still--oh, all right. Just for five
minutes though--not a second more.
Oops!
I almost
fell. Here--let me move over some. Ahhh, that's better!...Well,
I--but just once.
Uhmmmm--there!
That was nice!
...No!
You
used it up. After all, we did agree. No--no more! Of course
I like
you. I think you're very sweet...Proof? Well, I don't know.
A long kiss? How
long?
Uhmmmmmmm!!!
Well!
Was
that fair? I was still making up my mind.
What time is it, Mr. Rogers? . Well, don't you
want to know when the five minutes are up? We've used at least two of them
already. Honestly, we did...I think you're kidding me...We-ell,
all right. Four more minutes?
...Oh, you dear. Just
like Maria Manro? Really? My face, too?...But she's a big star, and I'm
just a little starlet who nobody even knows.
A part!!!
Oh, Mr. Rogers! Do you
really mean it? In your next picture? Which part?...Tell me.
I'll promise not to breathe it to a soul.
...Oh, I understand
perfectly. But it's the little parts that count. I just know I'll be a
wonderful maid. I'll play it like I was after an Oscar.
Ah, you're such a darling!
Does it have lines?...It does! Oh, Mr. Rogers! I don't know how to thank
you. It's so perfectly sweet.
...Let me give you a
big giant kiss. What's that?...The lights bother your eyes? Well, you just
wait right here. I'll turn them off. Why didn't you say something
about it before? I don't want you to be uncomfortable.
There! Is that better?
Are you comfortable?...A real big part...oh you darling. I don't know how
I can ever...
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh!
...Why, Mr. Rogers!
It's such a nice part!
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